Bee In The Bonnet – Sorry I’m Late … I’m On Indian Time

Are you always late for appointments? Have you ever been on time to pick someone up? And are you always the last one to show up for your procrastination Anonymous meetings? … Do what I do, I tell ’em I’m running on “Indian Time”!

So why do native people have this trait? I blame it on our lazy laid back ancestors. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree! They didn’t have to cope with a five o’clock dead line. As long as it was done by sometime in the fall, that was okay with Chief Runs With Deer. They didn’t have some big boss with bad breath hollering at them … “Do this, do that!” No, not our ancestors! Their Chiefs didn’t rant and rave or put on the pressure. If they didn’t, there’d soon be a newer easier going Chief. Today we clip coupons, search ads for bargains all this and more just to make a living. But not Runs with Deer and his merry gang. They turned survival into what we today call hobbies and sport. They didn’t scramble around for groceries… they lazily “gardened” in the sun picking berries and such. They didn’t cheat. lie and steal to track down the best deal. They had themselves a “Hunting Party!”

Can you imagine living like that? It’s no wonder they were so laid back. To them “time,” was the passing seasons. You wouldn’t catch ol’ Runs with Deer checking out the sun on the horizon and exclaiming “Holy beaver pelt, it’s almost quarter to winter!” No, not these lazy laid back easy going people. Why should they stress themselves over a changing season. Before the movie Gone with the Wind made it a famous line, “For tomorrow is another day,” it was a native’s motto.

Some of you may be mad at me for calling our ancestors “lazy,” but I don’t mean it in a bad way. They lived life like it was one long, long Sunday morning. You know how good that feels … “lazy.” And who wouldn’t want to live like that. “No more rat race, no more Mondays!” Just peaceful Sunday’s forever and ever. A clock, what’s that? So it’s no wonder that natives of today are sometimes late (according to the invention of the clock). There in part is why we do the “9-5.” It would be bliss to live like our ancestors… a full tummy, a warm Wig Wom at night with Little Beaver. But have you checked out the prices of Wig Wom’s lately? Food? And now, Little Beaver wants a new car! It’s never ending … Bills!Bills!Bills! … Bills for everything from apples to zippers. I’m sure Runs with Deer would laugh his tail feathers off, at the idea of one of his descendants paying a “light” bill. He would probably say, something like … “You’em want’em light’em? Wake’em up’em early’em and’em go’em to ’em bed’em late’em!” Ha’em, Ha’em, Ha’em. Two hundred years ago, he never would’ve dreamt of the invention of the light bulb. Hell when I was growing up, I never would’ve thought that one day they’d be selling “water!” You have to ask yourself where does it end … canned air? It’s all about inventions the clock, the light bulb everything right down to the flush of the toilet … ahh! Yes great, great, great, great Granddad, we have to pay to do what the bear does in the woods for free! We should live more like Mr. Deer, but the idea of sharing a washroom with a bear doesn’t appeal to this little brown bottomed boy. Like it or not we live in a fast paced society. We all depend on someone else to do their job, so we can flush that can. We’re all part of one big tribe, everyone doing their part.

I just wish we didn’t have to be slaves to the tick, tick, tick of the clock. With our (native) ancestry we should be allowed a grace period, a half hours time should do it. If the rest of the world understood us and accepted our “Late Trait,” we would never be late again. People (non native) could look at their watches and say … “wasn’t he supposed to be here at four o’clock? Oh, he’s native … four thirty!” All a native would have to do is show his or her Status card and just like that they would be forgiven for their tardiness. Wouldn’t that be great? Even if the world came to an end at midnight eastern standard time, three o’clock on the coast … three thirty “Indian time!”