Bee in the Bonnet: Procrast-a-nation

By Bernie Bates

I promise I’ll get to it first thing tomorrow – or the next day, but definitely by the weekend. If not, next summer at the very latest! Procrastination is such a terrible trait to have, it has delayed or even destroyed some people’s dreams. Inventions that could’ve relieved mankind’s burden, turned out-laws into in-laws and even the ebb and flow of love’s desire. “I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday, for a hamburger today!”

Procrastination: is nothing more than stealing time from your own future. Why put off until tomorrow, what you can do today? But if you’re a true procrastinator you probably say things like this; “Oh, why worry? The mess will still be there tomorrow, I’ll clean it up then!” Or, right now, you might be thinking: “Ah, what the hell, I’ll read this another time.”

But, if you’re a person who hates to look at an unfinished job or won’t leave work until a project is finished, and done well, I might add, then you my friend, will always be able to find a job and you will enjoy the fruits of your labour: nicer surroundings, a healthier life style, cool toys and a better sex life (strike that last summation, it falls under the category of: ‘all of the above’)!
I’ve always wanted to be a millionaire with enough wampum to choke the words of every jerk, who’s ever said: “Oh, he’ll never amount to anything!” The first thing I’d do is give them all a brand new car: then have the cars repossessed! Then I’d … Hey, wait a minute, if I did that, then I’d be the jerk. Ah, what the hell? I’d be so rich I could buy all the friends I wanted. I think I’ll get started on that list first thing tomorrow.

Being a person who practices what I preach – I, too, am one who would rather ‘do it tomorrow.’ In fact, I thought about writing this story last year … Wow! How time flies! Time: is like trying to hold sand in your hands, it just seems to slip away. Why couldn’t it be more like the sand that gets stuck in your bathing suit … Euwww!

Most of us have heard the old saying: “Indian time.” For those of you who are not familiar with this witticism: it’s a jab at how we Natives disregard the White mans perception of time! Natives, for generations, far too numerous to count, have looked at time much differently than the ticking of a clock. The sun, the moon and seasons were our tools for measurement. How fast could you run, how sharp was your hearing, your sight, your wits and how many teeth you had – that’s how Natives could tell what time it was.

Then along came words like; punctual, exactly, precisely and “You’re fired!” In defense of our tardy ways, I’d like to explain that it’s not that we Natives are lazy, it’s just our outlook on life, itself. Take, for instance, the English: they must have their ‘tea time.’ And for the French: It’s time for ‘Amour.” Even other things have their time and place. Our stomachs can tell us, it’s time to order pizza. A woman has an inner clock … tic, tic, tic! Even the government has a clock: they just can’t seem to locate it, and they blame the previous government for losing it in the first place – that is – until it’s tax time.

“HOLY CRAP!” Oh, excuse me – I just looked at the calendar. Where does time go? I was supposed to have written this column (the one your reading, right now) last week – hence the holy crap. Where does time go? I know you can spend it, lose it, waste it, find it and even make time. But you can’t touch it, smell it or hold it! It’s either coming or going and never, ever stops! “HOLY CRAP!”

Even now, time has me by the short hairs, I’ve still got my “Honey-Do-List,” to get done, plan the up coming week, draw an illustration for this column … “HOLY CRAP!” Or … I could do it tomorrow! The only problem with that is – it creates the ‘domino effect.’ What doesn’t get done today, gets piled on tomorrow’s plate of ‘things to get done today.’ You know what I mean, you have things on your ‘To-do-list,’ from last week … am I right? Don’t worry, everyone has them!

I think everyone on Mother Earth should change their time to “Indian time!” Why live and die by the clock? Why not enjoy time? After all, you couldn’t spend it a better way.


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