Bee in the Bonnet: PIZZA TOPPINGS!

By Bernie Bates

How many Indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? The answer will probably never be known. You may think this to be a snide comment, that is, unless you’ve tried to get more than two Natives politicians to agree on anything: and that includes everything from the colour of the sky to pizza toppings!

I await the day when it will be announced that Natives from shore to shore, from North to South are united by one voice …. Ah, who am I kidding? It’ll never happen, and I’ll tell you why; Natives, by natures are back-stabbers, our Chiefs are greedy and the old boys club, who own the halls of power ,want to keep it that way!

As the old saying goes: “If you want to find the truth – follow the money!” From the first day, when the first non-Natives stepped onto this continent – No, I’ll go even further, even before they arrived here, they were looking to make a killing. And I’m not kidding, they literally tried to exterminate the Natives of North America. Shooting, didn’t work – too many Injuns, not enough bullets. Germ warfare was another alternative they tried to execute; smallpox, tuberculous to an assortment of STDs. When that didn’t work, starvation was tried, hence the wholesale slaughter of the great plains buffalo.
The first fledgling governments even went so far as to hold a vote on what to do about us pesky Redskins! And if not for ‘TWO’ votes: chances are you wouldn’t be reading this bit of history. One group voted for eradication of every last Native, the other group voted for integration. Systematically, the installation of institutions, under the ruse of religion, was implemented, with the intent of crushing everything that made Natives, Native. Starting with language, clothing, rituals even to the cutting of our long hair.

Divide and conquer has been used for thousands of years, to vanquish an enemy. And it’s still in use today, and it’s still working as well as it did, oh these many years later. Treaties are being struck with different Native bands across this land: one by one. Some Native bands get more, some get less: ‘Divide and conquer!’ The only thing these bands have in common is that they’re being treated (treaty-ed) like a hooker: they’re getting screwed without the kisses!

If every Native, from north to south, from sea to sea, united and held steadfast to what was justly and rightfully ours: only then would the ‘old boys club’ stand up and take notice. Here’s an FYI: “Did you know that not one single treaty, that has ever been written, has ever been completely, 100% upheld? And therein is another weapon Natives have never used: the education of the voting public. If Jane and Joe public were informed of the shenanigans their government was imposing on the aboriginal minority – they’d be outraged!

But … Ah, who am I kidding, it’ll never happen! And I’ll tell you why …. For every Native who gets off his or her ass and does something with their lives, there’ll be two other Natives who’ll talk behind their backs (back-stabbers) or even in some cases, I’ve known people who’ve falsely accused others of something amoral or underhanded. If a Native starts up a business, they’ll be branded as crooks and demands will be made on their profits. If a Native tries to better themselves, by studying hard, receiving a diploma and getting a well paying job – they’d be called names like: stuck-up, uppity or ‘apple,’ you know, red on the outside, white on the inside.

Which brings us back to the root of all evil: ‘MONEY!’ We’ve all heard of taxpayer’s dollars being spent on expensive trips abroad, government approved toilet seats and expense accounts that no one has to account for? News like that hits the front pages and everyone is pissed …. then as time passes the voters slowly forget, the blame gets shuffled and the ‘dick-heads,’ who screwed us, fade away unpunished, without so much as a kiss goodbye! So, you now know how a hooker feels.

How does it feel? Do you feel used, unappreciated, unworthy – Native? If you’re a hard working, taxpaying citizen who is used to bureaucratic waste, this will really tickle you right down to your wallet. The government, in all their wisdom, with all their resources and endless man hours did an official study concerning the plight of the poor Natives. After spending billions and billions of your hard earned tax dollars, they came up with the following statement: “Natives wouldn’t have as many social problems, if not for their poverty!”

Dear reader: Please feel free to contact, B. H. Bates at: