Bee in the Bonnet In the Name of God, Don’t Read This!

By Bernie Bates

It won’t be vary long before the easter bunny will be coming to a WAL -MART near you. Have we forgotten the original fable of easter? Have we replaced that fabrication for a factious rabbit who magically hides chocolate eggs around the house?

It’s said that if a lie is repeated enough times it will one day become a truth. How uncivilized does a person have to be to believe in such a mythical, unplausible piece of clap-trap? Who knows? Maybe one day they’ll build a church to worship Bugs Bunny.

How about that other factious character, Santa Claus. Can you tell me what Santa Claus has to do with the birth of a little boy in Bethlehem? Birth, itself, is a factual event that is as certain as death is inevitable and irreversible. But people still pray to old Saint Nicholas. How unsophisticated and misguided is that?

People can be so gullible. You’ve hear of the old adage: “A fool and his money are soon parted.” Unfortunately some poor souls have been conned out of their entire life savings by some despicable evangelist with a sad story and promises of glory. It angers me when other humans pray upon the mentally challenged.

What if I told you that just last night, I had supper with Albert Einstein, Gandhi and Elvis? Would you believe me or would you think that I’d lost touch with reality? Would you have faith in my words if I told you that I built a boat large enough to house two every creature on this planet? Do you think I could make a woman with my bone? Far fetched, you say?

The reason for this column is because I was told that I was sinner for not believing in god. And, traditionally speaking, where do sinners go? So basically this man was telling me to go to hell.

I would like to think that I’m a good person. I don’t harm anyone, steal or propagate lies. But I know who does. Righteous leaders have fought deadly wars in the name of their particular gods. They’ve taken money from the poor and built golden temples. They also advertise everlasting salvation for the low, low price of just $19.99.

These holy people have tried to silence people like Galileo Galilei, who had the audacity to say that the Earth revolved around the sun. Charles Darwin, was ostracized for scientifically proving the existence of evolution.

All religions claim to be the only path to love, peace and eternal life. Yet they’ll destroy anyone who doesn’t bow down before their alter. They make promises that they can’t possibly keep; from condemning your ass to hell or granting you admittance to their version of heaven. It’s all about control.

So just how do these leaders keep their sheep from flocking off? They threaten them with something awful. And what could be more horrifying than the unknown – a dark place of endless torture. But in order to keep their cult members happy and calm they must also promise them a reward of some sort. But it can’t be something as tangible as a gold coin. So they promise them a magical place were all their wishes will come true?

The only problem with making a promise like that is; you can’t have a disciple returning from this mythical place and reporting to the rest of your flock that your promise is a crock.

There is only one way they can ensure rule over their kingdom. What is the only place that no one has ever returned from? Did you guess death? You’re right. Give yourself a gold coin.

I’m not anyone’s pawn nor soldier in servitude. I also know that I’m not alone when it comes to this taboo subject. A lot of people are losing their fate in our overlords. And this trend is as evident as the empty pews in churches everywhere. The masses are finally waking up to a new world of enlightenment.

So if a person wants to blindly believe in an unseen, wrathful, holy ghost – that’s their business. But, in the name of god, don’t come knocking on my door and ask me for twenty bucks.