Bee in the Bonnet: Let’s All Live In Harmony

By Bernie Bates

From the moment the doctor slaps you on your ass until the grim reaper calls out your name – you are nothing more than a government slave. From the cradle to the grave your assets are taxed.

Even before you were born the tax-man takes his cut from your parent’s pockets – after all health care isn’t free. The doctor charges the government and they in turn charge you; plus a small administration fee for handling, transportation and spillage. Now I don’t claim to know all of the ins and outs about our tax system, but really, who among us does? I do know this; we aren’t getting our money’s worth. There is so much wasteful squandering of our tax dollars that the government has a special bureaucratic branch just to study where your money is being misspent. There are people who do nothing all day but try and plug holes in the system. And just down the halls of power from those people is another group of people creating more and more loopholes.

Take the average taxpayer who has an average grasp of mathematics; now give him or her a Rubik’s cube and then tell them they have until April the first to solve it or they could face fines, penalties or even jail time. Then every year give them a new cube that’s been changed just enough to confuse the hell out of them.

Most citizens hire professional accountants to do their taxes rather than run the risk of having to pay fines, penalties or becoming someone’s jail toy. Our tax forms are page after page of tiny white boxes that are connected like dominos. If you answer one box incorrectly the other little white boxes will fall like a house of cards. It makes you wonder if these forms aren’t purposely designed to confuse the average worker bee? And what happens if you do make a mistake and you accidently overpay the government? Are there provisions in the tax code where a person can impose penalties, fines or firing squads?

We’ve all heard of the statistic that states that one percent of the population controls ninety-nine percent of the wealth in this country. It’s like a bully in a school yard who takes everyone’s lunch money, but no one does anything about it. And this is the part that really clinches my butt muscles: the teachers (politicians) know full well what’s going on but they either don’t want to get involved or they just simply don’t give a crap about you and your little friends.

You know what would make a great ending to this scenario – if all the kids got together and beat the living crap out of the bully. But, sadly we live in a civilized democratic society. What we do have is the power of one vote each. The only problem is that we use that vote to elect another flavor of politician. They all make promises that we all know they’ll never keep – and so goes the political merry-go-round. I think I may have a solution to this ride we’re on; instead of electing another liar, why not hire a bully of our very own? And if this employee doesn’t do a good job we would have the right to fire their ass right on the spot, and keep our assets too.

Speaking of assets, how’s yours? Are you rich and getting richer or are you poor and getting poorer? Chances are you’re the latter of the two and the cost of living is going up faster than your income. The cost of housing, food, gas and taxes are always on a steady climb, while most of the population is on the slide. But what are you supposed to do; get drunk and forget your cares and woes? Well, you can’t even do that without paying the tax-man. Everything is being taxed to the max; from alcohol to tea, from gym fees to cake.

… Wasn’t it Marie Antoinette, of the French aristocracy who scoffed: “let them eat cake”, upon hearing that poor people couldn’t afford bread? And didn’t she lose her head in the pursuing revolution? Oh, why can’t we just learn to live in harmony – tax free?