We’ve all had moments of such incredible frustration – that you just want to scream your damned head off!

It’s in our DNA to cry out. Babies cry out for mother’s first milk. They scream for hunger, pain and protection; usually in the booth next to me.

Which makes me want to scream.

But, society has outlawed loud.

So, it would be considered a social crime if I were to yell at the waiter: “I asked you ‘not’ to seat me near children. Please and thank you.”

Please don’t get me wrong, I love children (*).

It makes no sense to go out and pay good money just to be seated next to screeching babies, intolerable temper tantrums and a mother who repeatedly threatens a two year old: “if you don’t stop screaming right now,I’ll give you a time out, mister!”

Screaming is a very primal instinctual answer to stress. I think there is a place for it in today’s society. I’d even go so far as to say that screaming out loud is a human necessity.

There is a whole list of things I’d like to scream at; including the waiter, the mother and the brat.

Ah, where to start? I’d like to scream at my bills and the cost of the pills that help me swallow my over priced bills. I’d like to scream at the incompetent nincompoops who run this country – but as we all know they can’t hear screams for help nor common sense.

Stubborn people bother me to my wits’ end. I’d make fun of them, but they wouldn’t know it.

They would just stand there with their jaw set and that stupid, stubborn look on their face.

No matter how much sense you make; they have already made up their teeny, tiny, bureaucratic, little minds. And there isn’t one damned thing you can do about it!

It’s at this point where I wish it were acceptable to scream my fool head off.

I’m sure you too have a few things you’d like to scream about.

Wouldn’t it be cool if it were legal to catch, tie up and gag a bureaucrat? Then, you could scream – your side of the story – without interruption, being put on hold or given another 1-800 number to call.

Can you imagine how much stress that would alleviate?

Maybe there should be a 1-800 number a person could call, and scream away their woes to another soul. Or maybe the government could erect soundproof cubicles on street corners, so a person could unburden themselves of stress through scream therapy.

There are 1-800 numbers you can call to hire people who will listen to you, scream with you and help you relieve your pent up stress. But, sadly, the government frowns on commercial sex therapy.

Speaking of happy endings and screaming, we must not forget about the screams of joy. The news of a newborn, the exultation of winning the lottery and screaming at an overbearing boss: “You can take this job and shove it!”

(*) Children are wonderful, fascinating and ever curious creatures to me. I love kids and they love me, sensing that I’m just a big kid at heart. They are our future, I get that, but I don’t come to your dining room table and scream!


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