Bee In The Bonnet: The Sky Is Falling! The Sky Is Falling!

As a humorist I look for the punch line in any given scenario. I tend to walk on the sunny side of the street, look for the silver lining and live by the motto: tomorrow’s a new day. Today it dawned on me – I’m beginning to wake up and smell the coffee – I’m beginning to think that yesterday’s jokes could be tomorrow’s ironic epitaph.

Only a short time ago any rational human being would have laughed at the thought that Donald J. Trump could become the President. We all thought that it was impossible, a big joke, we all thought he’d fizzle like a snowball in hell – well as sure as climate change is real – the great white hope is ahead in the polls.

Sometimes the long shot comes in.


“Ah, but we Canadians, ain’t got nothin’ to worry about, eh? We have Justin to look out for us. He’ll stand up to Trump, as sure as snowballs fizzle in hell!”

This made me ponder what other things have I joked about – things that I thought were impossible – what other snowballs have I under estimated?

In a single life time climate change has proved itself to be real. With a stunned look on my face I couldn’t believe my ears when Global TV meteorologist Mark Madryga, announced that the temperature at the north-pole rose above freezing one day this past winter – and I’m not joking. It’s no laughing matter.

In a single life time, economic prosperity just meant that you could take care of your own family and still afford a summer vacation. Today our livelihoods are dependent upon a global economy.

Take this as an example; it was once thought that if a toy’s label read MADE IN CHINA, that it was a cheap piece of crap. Today, our children’s toys are battery powered computers with labels that read MADE IN CHINA.

Somebody’s laughing all the way to the bank.

In a single life time, the news of a murder went from a big deal to no big deal – life is becoming cheaper. I wonder what a life is worth these days in North Korea. How many lives would Vladimir ‘The land grabber’ Putin, put on the frontline to save his image? What other jokers should we worry about – the Taliban, ISIS or Al-Qaeda – and who’s in bed with who? Do the Ayatollah Ali Khameuel and Kim Jung-un have a back door deal?

To tell the truth, at the beginning of the Canuck campaign, I chuckled at Justin P. J. Trudeau’s chances of becoming the next Prime Minister of Canada. I laughed out loud at Kim Jung-un’s cartoonish appearance and the jokes practically wrote themselves with every foot-in-mouth speech trumpeted by Mr. Trump – but what happens if the stars aligned and the long shot won?

I feel like the clown who’s laughing on the outside, but inside he’s so scared he’s pooping in his big clown shoes.

In my twisted witty brain I picture it unfolding like a James Bond movie; a clean cut man with nice hair finds himself in a bad part of town. A German Fraulein is tending bar, in the backroom a game of Russian roulette is taking place – with a real Russian, an American gambler, an Asian misfit, a sweaty terrorist and a Canadian who’s just looking for the men’s room.


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