What Do Women Want?


Half of you readers may think you know what women want. Is it a nice dinner out, flowers and candy? Are women made of sugar and spice and everything nice? These questions and many others have been asked throughout human history in the hopes of discovering what women want. To date; humanity has come up with nothing, nil and nada

Just consider the amount of time that has been spent on answering that one question. It really wouldn’t surprised me if aliens traveled across the cosmos in quest of that very answer. Generation after generation and countless man hours have been spent in the doghouse pondering; what the hell? Even the brightest minds with super-computers and modern day technology can’t come up with a viable theory to explain womanhood. We know more about space than the depths of a woman’s soul.

Don’t think for a second that it’s only men who are working on this monumental project. Women, too have tried in vain. Unfortunately they too failed to unlock the mystery of the female mind, heart and soul – zip, zero, zilch. That makes me theorize: there is no real answer. It’s like trying to draw a picture of air – you know it’s there – but you can never grasp it. In essence, it’s an essence. Try to figure that one out.

Can you imagine the frustration we poor misunderstood men must suffer. Considering the complexities of a woman’s mind, mood or mental malady? Women themselves don’t even know the answers. Yet men are always painted as the bad guys, whenever we forget something like birthdays, anniversaries or what to get for Christmas? Not to say that men are stupid, but the male Homo erectus, is a simple creature with simple needs. Just feed us, let us play with our toys, your toys – and we’re happy puppies – no big mystery.

Men and women handle life’s moments much differently. Instinctually, men are reactionary beasts, whereas women tend to be the emotional thinkers. Most men will take or give a beating – at some point in their life – then walk away and let it lie. Most women, who’ve had a spat, will examine that tiff from every angle, and fifty years later they’ll remember the exact date, time and that it rained slightly that spring morning. Men have problems remembering what they had for lunch last week.

It is said that if you don’t learn from the past, history will repeat itself. So you’d think that men would’ve learned; that a mad woman is always right, sex is a privilege not a right and put the damned the seat down on the toilet. But it’s not only the fault of men. It’s a proven fact that the weather in Alberta can change very quickly, but not as rapidly as a lady’s prerogative. This all gives credence to my theory: there is no real answer to what women want. Again, it’s like the weather and as stable as a cloud in the sky – the answer my friends is blowing in the wind.

To try and prove my theory, let’s do a little experiment. I’d like you, your spouse and your friends to write down on a piece of paper, a paragraph on what you think women want; then exchange them. I’ll wager that the answers will be like snowflakes and women – no two will be exactly the same.